This paper serves to answer questions about my choice to convert, and gives you a peek into my personal journey on the road to becoming a Jew. Please forgive my less than stellar writing skills in advance.
My process to becoming a Jew by choice is simple-I lost faith in my birth religion, Catholicism, and felt a spiritual hunger for a religion with logical concepts and democratic decision making capabilities. Catholicism didn’t fit the bill for me. The first touchstone in my path to Judaism is my children. A desire to lead them by example met with one giant obstacle-how can I teach them about God if I am absent from faith? Christian teachings are thoughtful but not insightful, and definitely not up for argument or discussion, and really turned me off to returning to Christianity. I happened to start researching my family tree and heard my sister Jenna tell me that we might have Jewish ancestry. I wasn’t sure what that meant, so I started reading articles on the internet and talking with Jewish friends at work. I was amazed and intrigued by what I read and heard. Two years later, I decided to make the leap and convert. My heart and soul have been at peace since.
In my mind, there are four appealing and persuasive values and beliefs in Judaism that stand out: free will, tikkun olam, arevut, and social responsibility. The belief of free will or bechirah chofshit states that all humans are free to choose, and therefore are responsible for those choices, either to their reward of detriment. People start with a clean slate from birth and make their way by their decisions in life. The Jewish concept of social justice or tikkun olam seeks to repair or perfect the world by making it a better place. Jews are to be active participants in helping others, in essence, to help all mankind by good acts and deeds in the forms of volunteerism, charity and social action.
Arevut refers to the value of a special bond that Jews share of mutual aid and devotion to each other. It’s a concept shared in conversion class and selected readings of “all Jews are family”. My heart feels very welcome with other Jews, and there’s camaraderie between Jews that transcends time, age, social condition and even language. Social responsibility to others in the wake of grave mistakes makes my favorites list of persuasive values in Judaism.
The value known as hocheach tocheach sets forth a moral obligation for Jews to be social critics as an expression of care for others in the world. It can be difficult and distasteful to receive or bear the brunt of comments from friends, family and complete strangers after you’ve made a remark or comment, however well intentioned. My experience with this value has been a mixed bag of results--some were glad I cared enough to point things out--and others were resentful and harbor ill feelings. I cannot control what others say or do to me, but I can control my own actions and responses.
Judaism fulfills my desire to reconnect with God with worship, prayer, and good deeds. By contrast, my birth religion values faith as utter salvation, and the rest one does or says can be forgiven with a simple apology for behavior. My experience as a former Catholic had been confusing and contradictory in nature, and I felt very clear and assured of my decision to convert to the Jewish faith and way of life. I hold nothing more dearly than fairness, truth and love of family and home--all the concepts valued by Jews worldwide. I fit the Jewish faith and have found a spiritual home.
My personal life and home life are in a state of flux. We have been planning to relocate to Tucson next year, and have been making changes over the last few months. We’ve already researched Jewish synagogues in the area and Jewish community resources. Both my husband and children are generally positive about the changes to a more Jewish household--like a mezuzah at the front door entrance, blessing plaques on the wall and eating kosher food choices from the grocery store. It’s fun and interesting to try new foods, and I’ve become astutely aware of dietary labels and Jewish food fare in the process. Lighting Shabbat candles and saying prayers in Hebrew is still reserved for me for now, but it usually starts a conversation with my children about Jewish traditions and rituals on Shabbat. My husband Eddie is very supportive of my decision to convert, as well as the shared decision to convert our boys into the faith. It’s funny, when somebody asks, he says he’s Jewish. I hope his words will one day lead to conversion. To summarize, our family is taking a gradual approach to becoming kosher--one step at a time.
My identification with other Jews is within the context of a feeling of shared spirit, and not necessarily geographical or familial similarities. My experiences at Ezra Habonim synagogue have been rewarding and positive in nature. I feel comfortable to share and converse with other Jews about any event or even questions about Jewry in general there. My greatest deficit in learning is in world Jewry. Honestly, my Jewish faith and way of life is the link to other Jews around the world. My plan is to travel and learn from our Israeli, Russian, and Eastern European counterparts.
My intention to give monies and donate time to others in need is based on a desire to fulfill my obligation as an observant Jew. Our family will donate five percent of our income to charities such as the Jewish National Fund and Jewish United Fund of Chicago. I know the full ten percent tithe is not possible for our family, and I intend to fulfill a personal commitment to social services in the local Jewish community as needed. My background in nursing lends a greater desire to help others in need due to medical issues or difficult social circumstances.
My commitment to prayer, Shabbat and keeping kosher is a stepped approach to better understanding and observance. Each day I say the Shema prayer upon rising and bedtime. My knowledge of prayers is ongoing, and learning basic Hebrew will become my next learning module in Jewry. My Shabbat observance is based on preparing a kosher meal, saying the candle blessing and lighting Shabbat candles at the appropriate time. We do try to attend Shabbat Friday evening services as much as possible. Keeping kosher is very much a step by step process for our family. We have stopped eating pork, and I buy kosher meats often. My children love kosher chicken and turkey breasts for dinner, and drinking kefir for a snack. I even have two Jewish cookbooks to choose from in my collection. In closing, I’d say my Jewish knowledge is good and my religious observance needs improvement.
In the near future, my children will attend Hebrew school. I plan to join EHNTJC and enjoy membership rewards such as taking unlimited educational classes. Finally, finding a havurah group and traveling abroad to Israel tops my list of things to do in the next two years.
