The importance of everyone in shull being nice

A fellow emailed me about his experience in another city











"I'm not looking at you to solve this in any way.  I'm just venting.











Last Thursday I went to my first conversion class.  It went alright, interesting topics and I learned a lot.Saturday  I woke up early, put on my suit and headed out to the Conservative Synagogue in XX. I was sitting there on the back row, a little before services started. I always hold a ball point pen in my hand when I am nervous. It's just a habit. Some people tap their feet, others twirl their hair. I hold a pen. No big deal.











I basically know no one at this Synagogue other than Rabbi Y that I met in my initial meeting and then the thursday class. In addition to holding my pen, I was also holding the prayer book in my other hand. From behind me comes a man and he taps me on the shoulder and in a very loud voice he told me not to put marks in the prayer book. All 20 or so people that were already seated turned to look at me. I told him that I wouldn't and was just holding my pen. Again in a loud voice he said not to have a pen out. I understand his concern that someone would desecrate a prayer book, but couldn't he just have handled it in a more subtle way?  I put the pen in my pocket and wished him a Good Shabbos. Talk about embarrassed!  I was extremely angry about this. Also, no one greeted me when I came in either. Wouldn't it have been nice for someone to say Shabbat Shalom, or Good Sabbath when I came in? A smile would have been nice.  I said Good Sabbath to one lady and one man.  Smiled at everyone, but in the end only received a curious looks, but not a peep.  Throughout the experience I was glanced at, but when I made I contact, they looked away.  This is a very small congregation.  I would think they would like to have as many warm bodies as possible.  It is the only Conservative Synagogue in town.  I would have to drive to , about two hours away, to find a different Synagogue.  There is a large Reform Temple here,but I have never been there.  I sat there through most of the service, then decided to leave early.











I am so disappointed. I've spent a year studying on my own and having Shabbat dinners at home with my family for an entire year.Now I don't know what to do. I feel lost.