My Journey toward Judaism

Many individuals that are apart of my life or get introduced to my life are under the misconception that my conversion to Judaism is mainly for Michael, my future husband. However, most of these individuals overlook the fact that Judaism has always been a part of my life. I grew up with a Jewish father and Christian Orthodox mother, who for what ever reason never was baptized. As a child I always remember celebrating holidays for both religions and having the choice of being who ever I wanted to be. I always enjoyed all my father’s stories of the Jewish people and the meanings behind the high holidays. Even so, every time I thought about Judaism the image of the dreadful scenes of the mistreatment of the Jews would creep up into my mind. I believe when I was little this was the hardest thing for me to understand, why would someone hate someone like my dad or any Jew?

            As I got older and became educated in human hatred and human ignorance, I realized that the ideas behind religious prejudice never had and never will have any true foundation. I believe at this point of my life I was angry- furious with people for being so oblivious and so closed minded about others beliefs. I cannot really explain if this anger was the reason I did not pursue religion or if it was the lack of knowledge about either religion that was in my family. What ever the reason may have been, I still felt as if there was something missing spiritually in my life.

After five years of not having religion as one of my priorities in life, I meet my future husband. I will have to admit I was shocked to see someone so dedicated to their religion and at times it was every foreign to me; because this is not how I grew up.  However, when I saw  how happy and proud he was to be Jewish and to uphold Jewish customs, I more than ever before I felt like I needed religion in my life. After experiencing and learning about Judaism, it became so clear that it was most suitable for me and my values. When I decided to convert, it was as if I finally found another part myself that has been inherited from my father, but hidden inside me all these years. Thanks to the classes with Gail and Jonathan Ginsburg, I gained so much knowledge about the history of the Jewish people, the traditions, the holidays and the lifecycle. This insight gave me an understanding and appreciation toward Judaism that I honestly never expected to have. Overall, I cannot explain in words exactly how I spiritually got pulled toward Judaism, but I do know that it is a great feeling to have.

There are so many things I love about Judaism, that if I told you them all, you would be reading forever. The things that stand out the most are the Jewish values and the concentration on family. If one fallowed all Jewish values in his/her life, it would be truly be a beautiful way to live. I feel that these values are too often forgotten in our modern world- people are so busy working and striving to have the best things, that they too often forget the important things in life like family, compassion, equality, and enjoying the now! That is why my some of my favorite Jewish values are Chesed, Rachamin, Kevod Ha-Beriot, and Tselem Elohim. I find myself drawn to these values because they represent me and what I believe would the world a better place. Most of all, I can only wish for myself and those around me to stop, take a deep breath and take in what God has created for us. I feel that is what Jewish values tell us: look around you, look how beautiful and magical the world is (every person, animal, and plant) - respect it and enjoy it, do not take advantage of it. Gail described it perfectly in class when she said you must “walk through life with eyes to see.”  Finally, the value of equality is important but yet overlooked by so many. As it is written in the Genesis, “And God created the human being in His image, in the image of God He created him; male and female he created them.” Meaning that everyone is equal, all have the same potential, the same imprint. If this was realized by our world, maybe at last we would have peace and no more hatred because of someone’s beliefs or skin color. Overall, Judaism values have great words of wisdom to offer about life, only if the world would listen.

Using these central values, I intend to fulfill the mitzvah of Tzedakah. Understanding and believing in this obligation of justice and carrying for others, I hope to put my values to practice. I will always give a helping hand to those who need it and do everything I can to help that individual whether it be family or a stranger that needs my help. My husbandl and I already try to fulfill this mitzvah by donating money to charitable organizations in Israel and United States and hope to continue through out our lives. I also believe in volunteering, I have volunteered at Children’s Memorial for over a year and it is one of the most rewarding things I have ever done. I look forward to taking an active role in getting more involved in such organization in future and hopefully one day be apart something that will have some significant impact.

Besides feeling that Jewish values are a central part of me and how I want to live, I believe that Judaism has changed other aspects of my life and will continue to change me for the better. As I mentioned earlier, I finally have a sense of belonging and that is with the Jewish community. Once again it is hard to explain how this occurred but it is a feeling that one day took part. Even though, I always grew up with feeling like I was in part Jewish, I now experience a deeper connection with the Jewish people more than I ever did before. In a weird way, even my dad’s stories of persecution and mistreatment in Russia are even closer to heart- I feel the pain of the Jews in that time.

My personal and home life has also changed in these last five months. If one walked into our home hopefully they would feel that we are proud to be Jewish- Michael and I have Jewish books, music, a Menorah, an Mzuzah, and are always welcoming friends and family. We also started to light candles for Shabbat and hope to start having Shabbat dinners with our family. I feel like Shabbat is one of the most amazing experiences that one can be apart of – it is a time to spend time with family, friends, and take a step away from our busy lives. Moreover, I am on my way to up keeping the fasting for the high holidays and up keeping the feeling and traditions of those holidays. I am also taking steps toward keep kosher: I do not eat pork and significantly cut down on eating shell fish. This is something that will take time, but as explained in the Kshrut 12 step program by Rabbi Jack Moline it is important to pursue each step only when you are ready in order to preserve a significance of simhat mitzvah; otherwise you feel like it is a burden instead of enrichment of Jewish life. Finally, I hope to make prayer a regular part of me and my life. I especially hope to regularly attend Shabbat services and all the services for the high holidays.  Most of all I look forward to having a Jewish family- teaching them about the Jewish history, celebrating holidays, and also having a religious belonging that I felt I never had before.