1.  Describe the process that led you to want to become Jewish.

My journey to Judaism has been a long one.  It began when I was a child and I realized that I did not agree with the central tenets of the religion I was brought up in.  I was brought up in a very liberal United Methodist church.  The sermons were typically focused on current events and how to help others through social action, which I very much believed in.  The fact that people were seen innately as sinners in Christianity did not come into my awareness until I visited other churches and got older.  I did not agree with this, along with other things I will discuss later on, and I realized I did not agree with Christianity some time when I was in junior high. 

 

My mother had been very open with me and told me that she wanted me to attend Sunday school until I reached high school.  She informed me that in high school I could make my own decision as to whether or not I wanted to continue attending church.  Having grown up in Maine, I was not exposed to other religions with the exception of reading about other religions in books.  So, I decided to continue attending church, as I had always felt strongly spiritual, wanted to pray in community, and felt close to G-d by singing in the choir. 

 

In college, I met a man who served as a mentor to me as a therapist and he also taught me a lot about Jewish history and culture.  Both of his parents were observant Jews and also Holocaust survivors.  Being Jewish was and is such a large part of his identity and I developed a large appreciation for Jewish people and Judaism through my friendship with him.  At this point, however, I had not yet attended services or even considered that I might be Jewish.  I wrongly assumed that it was more like Christianity than it really is.

 

I did not actively explore other religions until I moved to Chicago for graduate school in Clinical Psychology.  I minored in Spirituality and took several classes that peeked my interest.  I began studying Buddhism on my own, as I agreed with several of the tenets and strongly in the practice of meditation and yoga.  I connected with eating mindfully and ethically and the concept of suffering.  I began to meditate on a daily basis and found it to be very powerful at times and very helpful for my own emotional well-being.  However, I found it to be very isolating and felt that I was being taught not to be too attached to others.  I did not agree with this whatsoever and longed for the sense of praying in community that I had in church, but did not return to church since I disagreed with it so strongly. 

 

Around this time, I experienced a tragedy that changed the way I saw the world significantly.  My former fiancé, Mike, who I had loved very deeply and been with for many years, died very suddenly.  This was the hardest thing I have ever had to go through and I really questioned a lot of things of a spiritual nature.  My experience of isolation increased and I reached out to my dear friends (many of whom happened to be Jewish) for support, in addition to my therapist, who also happened to be Jewish.  These important people in my life helped me significantly through this time in my life and helped me to gain clarity on my own beliefs about life, death, and G-d.

 

I continued to have very positive relationships with Jewish people.  I thrived in the two environments where I spent much of my time – in school, where I learned from many Jewish professors (quite a few of whom were Orthodox) and where I lived, in a women’s residence for artists where I became close with many Jewish women.  I even dated a few Jewish men, including one man seriously who no longer felt a connection to Judaism.  I felt a strong urge in me to help him connect more with being Jewish.  At the time, I could not explain why this was happening.  I attended a Pesach Seder and was very impressed by how symbolic all of the foods were and in the importance of telling the history of being enslaved and the exodus from Egypt.  

 

About three years ago, I began dating a man, Moshe, from my school who was is very religious and has strongly considered becoming a rabbi.  I was very interested in what he was learning and we even studied texts together a couple of times.  He invited me to attend a Tu B’Shevat seder with him with Mitziut Jewish Community.  I was nervous about going and did not yet know that I was in fact Jewish.  However, I really loved the seder, felt very connected to it, and found it to be incredibly meaningful. 

 

I began attending services regularly.  I kept having “aha” moments, where I would learn something and it would just make complete sense to me.  It was very moving for me, as I had the experience of having the values and beliefs I had always held stated in prayer and words from the Torah and Talmud.  Within six months, I decided to make the formal commitment to become Jewish.  I met with the rabbi of Mitziut, wrote an essay for him, and studied on my own for some time.  Having to get another full-time job and then having a child, he was unable to teach me in the form of a class.  I longed to study with others and he told me about the class at EHNTJC.  The class has been a real blessing for me.  I have learned so much and it has helped me to lead a more Jewish life.  The learning I have done in this class has confirmed that I am on the right spiritual path and that I am in fact “home.”  

 

2.  Which Jewish values and beliefs do you find most appealing and persuasive?

I have discussed the Jewish beliefs I feel most strongly about in my answer to question #3.  Concerning values, I had a hard time narrowing down the ones that I find to be most appealing and persuasive.  To answer this question, I went through the list of values that we discussed in class and came up with thirteen that I found to be very moving.  Of course, there were others that I strongly agreed with as well.  So, I chose to discuss five values that guide the way I choose to live my life.

 

The first three values I find most persuasive are Ahavat ha-Beriot, Kevod ha-Beriot, and Kevod Nashim.  All three of these values have to do with loving and honoring living creations.  Ahavat ha-Beriot specifically refers to all of living things.  Kevod ha-Beriot refers to all humans.  Kevod Nashim refers specifically to women.  While Ahavat ha-Beriot seems to technically encapsulate all of these values, I like that it refers specifically to all of G-d’s creations.  I feel it is so important to love plants and animals and to care for them instead of mindlessly killing them.  This value has led to my being a vegetarian for so many years and to my efforts in helping the environment.  Kevod ha-Beriot refers to respecting others and I feel strongly about this value.  I try to do this in my life in relationships with my family, friends, clients, and also strangers.  Kevod Nashim refers to honoring women, which being a feminist, I strongly agree with. 

 

The next two values hold particular importance to me as they directly relate to my life commitment to work as a therapist.  I have always felt that my work is very spiritual, that G-d in a sense is working through me, and that I hold the therapy session as a very sacred and holy place.  The value of Chesed and Rachamin means having compassion for those who are vulnerable or disempowered.  I have chosen to work specifically with people who are particularly disadvantaged and/or vulnerable in this society.  I have worked with racially and ethnically diverse populations who tend to also be diverse in their religion, socio-economic status, and/or sexual orientation.  Many of my clients have come into therapy feeling so powerless and they have often felt that those in power have lacked the compassion that is necessary for their healing.  As a therapist, I work by having Chesed (or loving-kindness) for the other person and this is often incredibly curative in and of itself. 

 

Pidyon Shevuyim, or redeeming captives or those who are trapped or enslaved goes along with Chesed and Rachamin.  The vast majority of the clients I will work with (and have worked with in the past) have been African-American.  They have a history of being slaves in this country, and unfortunately frequently continue to be treated as such to this very day.  Helping to empower my clients in the face of a system that frequently works against them is part of my job.  Additionally, my clients, who will be in a residential substance abuse treatment center, have often felt trapped by their addiction to alcohol and other drugs.  They often feel spiritually disconnected, isolated, and fear they will not be able to stop using when they leave treatment.  My job is to help to free them from this fear and help them to become more connected with others.  This often has the effect of helping them to feel more spiritually connected as well.

    

3.  How is Judaism more appropriate for you than your former religion or lifestyle?

Judaism is more appropriate for me than Protestant Christianity (United Methodist to be specific) was in many ways.  Firstly, I do not believe that human beings are born in sin, as is taught in Christianity.  I believe that we all have the freedom to choose between good and evil, but that we are not innately evil.  This is the core belief I reacted most strongly to when I was a child.  I have seen this belief confirmed again and again in my life and particularly in my work as a therapist.  This is a major difference between Judaism and Christianity.

 

I believe that G-d is one.  This is stated in the Shema that Jews recite daily and this belief has incredible importance in Judaism.  It stands apart as a religion in this regard.  I do not believe that G-d can be separated into a trinity (the father, son, and holy spirit) as G-d is in Christianity.  I have never believed that G-d had a body, was a man who walked on the earth, and therefore, do not believe that Jesus was the son of G-d.  I believe that G-d is the source of life, is everywhere and is in everything.  I do not pray up to a vision of an old man in a throne, as I was taught in Sunday school.     

 

I feel strongly connected to the Jewish holidays.  As I have experienced them to differing degrees over the past few years, I have found them to be incredibly meaningful for me.  Keeping Shabbat holy by following many of the mitzvot has enriched my life in many ways.  In my experience as a Christian, Sunday was considered the Sabbath and a day of rest and a time to go to church.  However, it was not necessary to follow the mitzvot that make Shabbat so special.  I love how Jewish holidays commemorate historical events and how the things that we are to do as Jews symbolize and help us to remember our history.  I did not get the sense of this from the Christian holidays, which while historical in nature, seemed to emphasize consumerism.  This was not as meaningful for me.   

 

4.  Describe how your personal and home life has changed because of Jewish tradition and how it may change yet again in the future.

My personal life has been very enriched by Jewish tradition.  I honor and find such importance in the Jewish holidays (including and especially Shabbat) and this has significantly changed how I live my life.  I do not work on Shabbat (unless I have been on call for my job as a therapist) and do not work on many of the Yom Tov days of other holidays.  As I had not previously been used to celebrating so many holidays, I spend much of my time preparing for and honoring the holidays.  Since I have been on the path to become Jewish, I feel more connected to G-d.  I find the Jewish prayers to be very meaningful.  Living a Jewish life has led to a large change in my identity.  It has changed the viewpoint of how I see the world and how people in the world see me.  

 

My home life has changed significantly as well because of Jewish tradition.  Since August of 2006, I have lived with my fiancé in Chicago.  Previously, I did not see my apartment as a Jewish home, as I did not have any of the ritual objects and frequently celebrated the holidays outside of my home.  Since I have moved in with Brian, we have mezuzahs on the walls near our doorposts leading to the outside.  They are not directly on the doorposts since we are renting and our landlord was uncomfortable with us damaging the oak wood.  However, when we move into a home of our own, we plan to put them directly on the doorposts of our home.  We recently purchased artwork to put on the eastern wall of our home (a picture of Jerusalem.)  I have purchased many Jewish books that I read daily.  We have other Judaica, including a Kiddush cup, challah tray and knife, and a menorah we used for the first time this past Chanukah.  We got a seder plate and had conducted our first Pesach Seder at home this past month.  We even prepared much of the food, which was big for us, and had a friend honor us with his presence.  While I did not buy meat for my home before I lived with Brian, we now do have meat at home.  However, over the last few months, we have chosen to only buy and have kosher or organic and farm raised meat in our home. 

 

In the near future, my personal and home life will change again due to Jewish tradition.  Right now, Brian and I are planning our Jewish wedding.  This has been very exciting for us, as we have had the opportunity to really look at what is most meaningful to each of us and how we can create a Jewish life together.  We recently went over the ceremony with our rabbi and have decided to incorporate most of the rituals.  In a sense, the wedding will be very traditional, but it was important to us to make as many of the rituals as egalitarian as possible without losing the meaning behind the rituals.  We are proud of the way that we have been able to do this. 

 

Within a couple of years, G-d willing, we will be starting our own family with children.  Brian and I have discussed at length how important it is for us to send a consistent message to our children about what it means to be Jewish.  Brian was not raised in an observant home (his family ate a lot of treif, only went to services on High Holidays, celebrated Chanukah, and etc.)  Since Brian met me, he has become more observant and has felt more connected to Judaism.  This process has become more developed for him since we moved in together in August and I have been careful to allow him to come to this on his own without pushing him.  Brian and I would like our children to be raised with a strong sense of their Jewish identity.  This will involve not having treif in the house, separating meat and milk in terms of meals (but perhaps not with the dishes), having Friday Shabbat dinners and blessing our children, going to Shabbat services, celebrating the holidays together, enrolling our children in Jewish day school (depending on our financial situation at the time), taking them to Hebrew school, and helping them through life cycle events.     

 

5.  Describe your sense of identification with the Jewish people in relation to Israel, world Jewry, the local Jewish community and your synagogue.

 

I feel a sense of connection to Israel in several ways.  I long to go there (perhaps next year with EHNTJC) and experience what it is like to be in the Jewish state.  I would love to see where events in Jewish history took place.  Being a very experiential person, I imagine that this will help me to feel more of a connection to Israel. 

 

I frequently imagine what it must be like to be able to celebrate the holidays and have nearly everyone else doing so as well.  Since I have been on the path to “coming home”, I have found it difficult to deal with the frequent lack of understanding from non-Jews when it comes to celebrating holidays (needing time off and etc.) 

 

I have not stayed informed about a lot of the Israeli-Arab conflict.  I have a brother who was in Iraq and is in the army right now.  Since he enlisted, it has been more difficult for me to watch the news and to keep up with not only the American/Iraqi war, but also with the suicide bombings in Israel and such.  However, I have seen several movies about this topic recently, so I feel I will make myself more aware of it in time. 

 

I do feel a sense of identification with Jews from all over the world.  I frequently meet Jews who have emigrated here from many other countries and am influenced by their stories.  I have not done too much traveling outside of the United States, but when I was in Italy; I felt a strong desire to see the more densely populated areas where many Italian Jews reside.  I stayed in the area of Florence next to such a location and enjoyed conversing with Italian Jews and eating food with them.  Brian and I travel rather frequently to different parts of the United States and always look for where there are synagogues and where most Jews live.  In this way, we feel “at home” even though we are away from our physical home.  Brian and I plan to do more traveling outside of the United States after we have been married.

 

I have felt a strong sense of identification with my local Jewish community for a long time.  In addition to having many Jewish friends and teachers, I frequently eat from restaurants on Devon Avenue in Chicago, attend local events from the Kfar Center (a local Jewish group that puts on shows by Jewish artists – many who are Israeli), and go to Jewish events in the community that are advertised by Mitziut.  Additionally, Brian and I shop for some of our food every other week at Hungarian Kosher Foods.  In other words, I am surrounded by Jewish people during much of my life here in Chicago.  I often see many of the same people.  Even if we are not close, we nod and there is lightness in my heart.

 

The strongest connection I feel is to the Mitziut Jewish community, of which I am a member.  We are currently searching for a more permanent home, so at this time, we congregate in the upstairs of a church.  I began attending services at Mitziut on Tu B’Shevat for a seder over two years ago.  I really enjoyed the seder and began attending Shabbat services there monthly.  Within several months, I began going for every Shabbat service that was held.  While I initially felt isolated, as I did not know anyone who was not born Jewish who attended, I gradually became more comfortable in the community.  I felt that I was a part of the community when I made the decision to convert to Judaism.  I have attended nearly every holiday service at Mitziut and have found the holidays with my community to be very meaningful.  I have developed close friendships with other members and am an active member of the congregation.  I am a part of the Rosh Chodesh group that meets monthly and have hosted one at my home.  I helped plan and lead a Shabbat service and even recently lead a Dvar Torah.  It was well received and this gave me tremendous confidence and a sense of pride, knowledge, and ability to contribute strongly to this group. 

          

6.  Describe how you intend to fulfill the mitzvah of tzedakah.

 

The mitzvah of tzedakah is very important to me and I plan to contribute a lot of food and money to various charities over my lifetime.  Since I have been a student for my whole life and have been unemployed for some time until recently, I have not given as much as I would have liked to give over this time.  I gave money to Greenpeace and Illinois PIRG (two environmental organizations) on a monthly basis for some time, but had to stop contributing because it became hard for me to be able to give consistently every month.  With the exception of when I am alone and feel unsafe, I typically give money to people in need of it who ask. 

 

Since I have recently been hired for a job and live with my fiancé who also believes in fulfilling the mitzvah of tzedakah, we have decided to become subscribers to First Slice’s shareholder program.  Not only will we receive organic meals for ourselves, but our contribution would go to feed 20 hungry people in the Chicago area monthly with the same organic food that we will receive.  We feel strongly about the mission of this organization.  It not only provides food for homeless and poverty-stricken individuals, but it does so in such a loving, humane way. 

 

We also plan to save our change weekly, put it into a tzedakah box, and to donate to a Jewish organization, like Mazon.  We will encourage our children to donate a portion of their allowance as well for tzedakah.  We plan to set up a charity trust.  This way, we can save money over time and make a very big contribution all at once to a Jewish organization.  We are hoping to be able to donate our leftover food to a domestic violence shelter, along with potted plants, as a way to incorporate tzedakah into our wedding.      

 

7.  What is your commitment to prayer, Shabbat, and keeping kosher?

 

I have a strong commitment to prayer.  While I do not attend services on a daily basis, I meditate and pray on my own or with others daily.  For the most part, my daily prayers are spontaneous and frequently are for the healing of others.  I do believe in the power of prayer in numbers and find the praying I do during Shabbat services and services I attend for other holidays to be incredibly moving.  I do feel most connected to G-d when I am praying with and in the presence of other Jewish community members.  This is part of the reason that I chose Judaism.  I currently pray in a minyan weekly for Friday Shabbat services and for nearly every other Jewish holiday.  As my schedule becomes more consistent and my life gets to be more settled, I see myself praying in a minyan more regularly than I do now.

 

I have found observing Shabbat to be a wonderful experience.  Currently, I light candles most Friday evenings and recite the blessing.  For over two years, I have made the commitment to regularly attend Friday night Shabbat services.  Twice a month, I attend services with the Mitziut Jewish community (of which I am a member.)  During the other Fridays of the month, I typically attend services at other synagogues in the local community.  I refrain from doing many things on Shabbat (such as working at my job, on my dissertation, and things I find stressful.)  However, I greatly enjoy the things I do during Shabbat, such as eating, praying, and enjoying the company of friends.  I often take the time to rest on Saturday morning, spend time with my fiancé, study Jewish texts, and watch a movie.  I would like to eventually make Shabbat dinners for Friday evenings when I feel more confident in my cooking.  I would love to learn to make a gluten-free challah.  Unfortunately, I am allergic to gluten! 

 

Eating ethically was a common practice for me even before I discovered that I was Jewish.  Having been a vegetarian for many years, I did not originally have to make many changes in my diet in order to keep kosher.  Living with Brian, and now eating meat infrequently, we only purchase kosher and organic and free range products. 

 

Since I have joined the class and have learned more about kashrut, I have made the commitment to only eating kosher meat (if I eat it at all.)  I do not eat dairy, due to an allergy, so the mixing of the meat and dairy is not as much of an issue for me.  However, we only have one set of plates at this point in time and Brian does eat meat and dairy in the home.  He no longer mixes the two or brings treif into the home.  However, we do keep meat and dairy in our refrigerator and freezer. 

 

We plan to only serve vegetarian and parve food at our wedding.  When we have children, Brian and I plan to mostly keep a kosher home.  (We are deciding on whether we will have two sets of dishes.)  I will keep kosher to the extent I can when I eat out.  This means that I will not eat any meat in a restaurant unless it is kosher and comes from a kosher restaurant.  I will continue to eat at non-kosher restaurants, but will not eat meat (including non-kosher seafood) or dairy.  Brian is still trying to determine how this fits his beliefs, and we will decide what to do about our children when that time comes.

 

8.  Plans for the future.  Jewish study?

 

Following my conversion, I plan to continue on with the Hebrew classes I have been taking at EHNTJC and continue reading books on Judaism.  For me, it is not only a mitzvah to live a life of Torah study, but it is something I have found to be incredibly fulfilling.  I plan to consistently take classes in Judaism on different topics, such as ones on mysticism and spirituality that are offered throughout the Chicago area.  I would like to join the on-line Mitziut group that discusses the parshah every week.  I plan to prepare to help lead Mitziut services from time to time and prepare a Dvar Torah for Shabbat services again.  This experience was very powerful for me and I have found I have a gift in this area.  Within a year, I would like to start to study for my Bat Mitzvah.  Having missed this monumental life cycle event, I look forward to the opportunity to do this as an adult.  Within three years, Brian and I are going to start trying to have children.  We plan to help teach our children about Ju